The Way I Feel
Parts 3 and 4 (& epilogue)
Click here for parts 1 and 2
Part 3 - The things you have to do for love
Jessie was wondering around in the big estate, walking down the halls and looking sadly through the windows. The beautiful estate that was so inviting before had become her golden cage. It's been 2 months since James and Jessiebell got married, and things got really though. Sure, she had everything she needed, and she was wearing a designers original dress and had a pearl necklace around her neck but... James was busy in his businesses and was totally flooded with work, so he hardly had any time for Jessie. Also, the job he promised her wasnt given to her yet, and she felt lonely and bored. One sleepless night she passed near James and Jessiebells room, and she heard Jessiebell giggling. She didnt consider that before- did James and Jessiebell...?
Jessie sat at in big upholstered chair and sighed sadly, closing her eyes for a moment. Suddenly she heard a voice, and she opened her eyes. It was old Biatriss, the French maid.
"Oh, Biatriss, good morning." She was happy to see the only person that she could talk to. Unfortunately Biatriss was pretty old and came to work only two times a week.
"Bonjour, Madame... How are you feeling today?"
"Oh, as usual, you know." Jessie sighed.
"Is something wrong?"
"Oh, Biatriss... this place. Its driving me insane."
"Ummm... did you tell monsieur Morgan about it?"
"No, No I cant. I promised him to... its his dream, and all this- its his. I cant ruin it for him, he belongs here."
"But you don't." The old lady seemed to know exactly how Jessie felt.
"I thought I did, but no. All my life I've done things for myself, I cant just sit back and let someone else run my life for me now."
"You really should tell Monsieur Morgan. He wouldnt want you to be unhappy. He really loves you."
"Really?" She raised her head and looked at Biatriss, surprised. "You think so?"
The old lady laughed. "Of course. I saw the way he looks at you. Hes in love. And also, he hasnt touched Madame Morgan at all..."
"Really?!" Jessie laughed in relief. It was the first time shed laughed for months. "How do you know that?"
"I heard the Madame talking to her personal maid about it. He says he isnt ready yet..."
"Thats my James!" Jessie laughed real hard now, but then her laughter faded. "I just cant take him back to danger and hunger again."
"Well, that is for you to decide." Biatriss got up and walked to the door, "Dont be afraid to tell him how you feel. He would do anything for you."
"Thats what Im afraid of." Jessie thought to herself sadly after Biatriss was gone.
Jessie sat back in her chair next to the little desk in her room, and read again the letter she had written to James.
"My Dear James!
While youll be reading this letter, Ill be far away. Im so sorry, I know I promised you to stay with you, and I really thought I could easily adjust to the riches life, but it didnt quite happen this way. I was so used to being independent and doing everything my way, I just couldnt stop doing it and be dependent again. Living in that big empty house just drove me insane. Its really not your fault, I know you have businesses to take care of now and also a wife, and you cant take care of an old friend all the time. I appreciate everything youve done for me.
Im so sorry that I have to leave like that, without talking to you in person, but I know that you would have insisted on coming with me and leaving everything behind, and I cant let you do this. I cant let you walk out of your dream. You belong there, with all the money and the important stuff you have to take care of. You dont belong in poverty and hunger. I do, thats why Im leaving like this, so you wont try to convince me to stay and make it even harder on me to leave you. I love you so much. I hope that everything you want will be yours.
Yours truly, with all my love-
She wiped the tears from her cheeks, put the letter in an envelope, and grabbed her suitcases. On her way down she saw Biatriss packing her bag and getting ready to call off the day, and she walked over to her.
"Biatriss, could you please give Mr. Morgan that envelope?"
"Madame, what are you planning to do?" Biatriss knew by the tears in Jessies eyes and the letter in her hand, that she was leaving.
"Im leaving, Biatriss."
"Dont, Please. Its done, Im leaving now, and please, give James this letter from me. Please, Biatriss, youve been such a good friend."
"You are making a mistake. Neither of you will be happy with out the other."
"Biatriss! Its not open to a discussion." Jessie felt her old temper coming back. "Just give it to him, Please!"
The lady took the letter from Jessie and gave her a sad look.
"Thank you. Youve been really great." Jessie smiled and a tear fell from her eye.
"Take care Madame."
Jessie nodded and walked down to the big gate. Just a moment before she walked out of there, she stopped and looked back at the estate. It was so large and beautiful at night, and so quite. She wished she could see James just this once, before she left him forever, wished that she could hold him really close to her. She wanted to kiss him, tell him how much she loved him, how much shed always loved him. But she couldnt. She couldnt even say good bye.
"Prepare for troubles...No more double trouble for you, James... everything will be just fine for you from now on", She whispered and walked out of the gate into the night.
Part 4- The things you have to do for yourself
"Jessie, get your butt over here and listen to this!" Amanda was reading something in the newspaper. She was Jessies friend and a waitress in the little cafe that Jessie was working in.
After leaving James estate a few months earlier, Jessie had nowhere to go to. At first she tried to go back to the Team Rocket HQ, but she met Meowth there and he told her that the boss is really pissed off at her and James, so she wont be welcomed there. So Jessie decided to go downtown, she rent a small apartment and started working in a little cafe near her new home. Everything started to go pretty well to her, but one thing was still missing- She couldnt stop thinking of James. Did he miss her to? Or maybe he was too angry at her for leaving him after shed promised to stay, so he
"What is it?" Jessie was really tired that day and she could hardly drag herself around.
"Listen to this-" Amanda started reading: "`A young millionaire collapses during board meeting.` `James Morgan collapsed yesterday during the annual board meeting of the rich Morgan familys businesses...` HA!" she laughed in disparagement, "Those rich people, some troubles they have... he probably had too much money or something..." Amanda laughed but Jessie was in total shock.
"Give me that!" She snatched the paper out of Amandas hand and read the small article: "James Morgan was under a lot of stress lately, between his divorce from Jessiebell Morgan and the new responsibilities he had, taking care of the family businesses that his late parents had left him a year ago..."
Jessie stopped reading and threw the paper on the table. "I gotta go see him!"
"What are you talking about?" asked Amanda, "Do you know that man?"
Jessie took off her apron and threw it at Amanda. "Tell the boss I had to take the rest of the day off. I have a personal emergency."
"Jessie! Tell me what happened!" Amanda yelled but Jessie was already catching a cab. Everything happened so fast, she didnt have no time to think it all through, so even if James didnt want to see her, she was on her way to see him.
While standing in front of the tall gate, Jessie started to regret coming back to the estate. Maybe James is angry at her and doesnt want to see her? Maybe he will kick her out...
She was about to turn around and go back to the main road to catch a cab back to her apartment, when she suddenly saw him, walking through the gardens. He looked so thin and weak, So sad and lifeless. Seeing him like that was really Heart-breaking, she felt so sorry for him and her eyes filled with tears. He went towards the gate and suddenly he noticed Jessie standing there.
"You!" his eyes filled with tears. Jessie just stood there and didnt say a word. She was afraid that they will hurt each other with the things they wanted to say.
James came closer to the gate and held the bars with his hands. He truly looked like a prisoner behind the gate. "Why did you come back here?"
She didnt know
what to say, and he continued: "Why did you leave me? You
"I know", she said, coming closer to the gate and covering his hands with hers. He angrily pulled his hands from under her hands. "I explained it all in the letter..."
"The letter? A letter cant hug me or kiss me goodbye, I cant beg a letter to make you stay with me!" Tears fell from his eyes and he wiped them away quickly.
"I didnt want you to make me stay, I couldnt stay, and I couldnt take you away from all..."
"From what?" he sounded angry, "From my `wonderful life` here? Look at me! Do I look happy to you?"
She didnt know what to say to him. It had never occurred to her that this might *not* be what he wanted, that maybe without her, the loneliness was greater than the happiness of being rich and having everything he wanted. Everything he wanted...?
"Im sorry, James", she cried, putting her head on the bars and clutching them like she was about to fall down if she let them go. "Im so so sorry."
James gave her a soft look and came closer to her, caressing her cheek from between the bars, and pressing his forehead against hers. "I dont need the money and the power of I dont have the one I love beside me", his hands slowly covered her hands, "Nothing is important without you. Dont leave me again..."
"What?!" the lawyers shouted in surprise.
"You heard me, I leave everything to my Growlith. Biatriss will take care of him and his young ones." Said James.
Biatriss sat on a big chair with the Pokemon on her lap, and smiled over to Jessie.
"And in the meanwhile" He continued, "Until Ill come back, Jessiebell will take care of everything. I know we didnt get along very well but she really handled all the phony marriage well and she took care of my businesses while I was sick in a very proper way."
"Thank you, James dear, youre a wonderful man." Jessiebell smiled at James and he smiled back at her.
"The money that my parents had left directly to me will be mine and I will be the only one who has access to the bank accounts. The businesses will be mine to manage whenever Im back. Ok, I think everything is settled. " He looked at the speechless lawyers and they nodded.
"fine, Ill be leaving now with my fiancee. If you excuse us-" He took Jessies hand and they both left the room.
On their way out Jessie asked:" James, do you think well ever come back here?"
He smiled. "Well, why not? Maybe after well have kids."
Author's Note: Ok, Ok, I apologize. I know I said I dont like stories that contain a wedding between Jessie and James or stories about their kids, but here, I couldnt help it! It was so demanding that after James divorced Jessiebell, He and Jessie will get married. I really tried to avoid it but I couldnt. So please forgive me, I think the story is very good any way. But tell me what *you* think- email@example.com Thanks !
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