The Way I Feel
Parts 1 and 2
Click here for parts 3 and 4
Authors note: This is my 3rd fan fiction and Im pretty proud of it. The idea came to me at night and I wrote it the day after. Oh, yeah, I had a little problem here, I wasnt sure what is James last name. I read a fanfic in which he was named Morgan, and another in which he was names Prescott. I prefer Morgan better, so this is how I named him here. If you know what is his last name for certain, please tell me and also let me know what you think about my fanfic at: email@example.com . And also I want to say, I didnt get to see the "Holy matrimony" episode, so all I know about Jessiebell is from what Ive read. This story is about the second time James had returned home after his parents truly died.
Part 1 - The things you have to do for happiness
Jessie and James both sat in the back seat of the long black limousine that Jessiebell had sent them. James was uncomfortable in his black tuxedo but Jessie really loved the black elegant dress she was wearing. The ride seemed so long, and they hardly say anything to each other, because they were both very nervous. They had finally arrived to the big estate, pulled themselves out of the limousine and stood there for a while, looking at the great size of the house and the lands that surround it. James mom had died last week, a year after his dad died, and left everything to her only son, but of course, it will all be given to him only after he marries Jessiebell.
They would have stand there for a longer while but then they heard the familiar annoying voice: "James, dear! You look amazing as ever!"
The young girl ran over to James and gave him a big hug, and he unwillingly hugged her back.
"And you, Jessie! You look just stunning, of course!" Jessiebell said spuriously. Jessie gave her a fake smile. "Of course".
Jessiebell took James hand and led him into the house, And Jessie slowly followed them, looking around her. The house was beautiful, just the way she had remembered it, but so lifeless and cold. There were only a few servants left after the mother died and a few business men who were waiting for James to come and close a few deals. Suddenly Jessie saw Biatriss, The old French housemaid, which became a good friend of hers in the last time shed been there. Jessie came closer to the old lady and smiled.
"Its good to see you, Madame. And Monsieur Morgan too. I hope you have a nice stay here."
Jessie smiled at her and went after James and Jessiebell to her new room.
The dinner was splendid, as always in this house. Jessie and James were there, dressed in elegant suits, and also Jessiebell and a few of James parents lawyers were there. After the meal, it was time for the painful business side. One of the lawyers was the first to speak:
"Well Mr. Morgan, as you know, your mother had left you all the money and businesses that she and your father had when they were alive, since you are their only heir alive. Weve gone through all the details the last time you were here. As you know, the heritage will be given to you only if you marry Jessiebell, who is in charge of getting you in the right condition, so you can run the family fortune in the proper way."
Jessiebell was very content with this decision but James was pretty mad. "I dont need anyone to get me in the right condition."
"I believe your parents thought otherwise."
"You know the rules", added a second lawyer, "Marry her and get the money and the businesses."
"You all know Jessiebell and I have no relationship as a couple, only business relations." James spoke clearly and in a deep serious voice that Jessie didnt recognize.
"Then consider it a business deal. You will have to stay married to her until the money will become legally yours and youll have enough money to buy the businesses yourself. It will probably take a few months, maybe a year."
A year! Jessie couldnt even think of it. She knew James didnt want to do it and was very surprised when he said: "Let me think of it tonight. I will let you know tomorrow."
Jessie couldnt sleep. She was afraid of what James is going to say tomorrow to the lawyers. She couldnt think of her life without him, after such a long time together. He was everything she had, her best friend and a huge part of her life, and his decision might tear them apart for good. She had never told him how she truly felt, and how much she loved him. Instead she was confused and frustrated so she hit him and yelled at him to cover her feeling. But now it could be too late.
Somebody knocked on her door. She put on her robe and opened it. It was James.
"Hi, Im sorry for the late hour, may I come in?
He came into the room and sat on a chair. Jessie sat on the bed right in front of him, and gave him a soft look.
"Oh, Jess, I dont know what to do", he whined. She smiled. This was the James shed known forever. "I hate big decision and this one is one of the biggest Ive ever had to make."
"I know, James. I know."
"I mean, you know how much I want to be free and what a big part you and Team Rocket are in my life, but you also know how bad I want to be rich. This is the opportunity Ive been waiting for and I just cant turn it down!"
"I dont think you should", the words coming out of her mouth surprised her too. She doesnt?!
"You dont?" He looked at her, surprised.
"No", and she suddenly knew what made her say that. She loved him too much and couldnt be selfish this time. "This is a great opportunity."
"Yes, and Ill have to stay married to that horrible Jessiebell for only a few months!" He looked pretty excited now.
"Its true. It might just be worth it." She stood up and went over to the wide window. "So... I guess this is where we go our separate ways", she added sadly.
James stood up and came closer to her, giving her a big hug. "Jess, I dont want you to go." And then he looked her in the eyes and took her hands: "Stay with me here, Jessica. You can live here with me, Ill give you everything- food, dresses, jewelers- everything you want will be yours."
Jessie looked at him with wet eyes. It sounded great but she couldnt do it. " And Ill have to be depended on you for the rest of my life."
"Oh, no, Ill find you a job, in one of my dads businesses, youll have your own money. Please, Jessie, Please say youll stay with me. I cant do this with out you."
Jessie turned away from him and looked through the window, at all the great gardens that spread over the hills and beyond. It could all be hers, and she wont have to leave James. She turned back and looked at his green shining eyes. "Yes, Ill do it."
Part 2 - The things you have to do for money
"Jessie, dear, Im so glad you agreed to be my bridesmaid." Jessiebell was wearing the most beautiful wedding dress. Jessie was sitting in her pretty white dress next to her. She looked 10 times prettier than the bride, but it wasnt *her* happy day.
"Im only doing this for James."
"Oh, I know you are, dear. Dont worry, Ill take very good care of your James." She smiled at Jessie, trying to cover her deep hate. She knew very well who really held James heart- Jessie, and not Jessiebell. Luckily for the two of them, a young girl went into the room and prevented a cat fight between them, announcing that the groom is ready and the wedding can begin.
Jessiebell hopped happily down the stairs (in a "proper" way, of course), and Jessie slowly and unwillingly followed her. It's gonna be a very long day, she thought to herself.
The beautiful garden was full with people Jessie didnt know. It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun was shining and Jessie could feel the cool breeze. The trees looked taller than ever and she could see the blossoms of the new spring flowers. The house seemed alive and marry for the first time, but Jessie didnt feel that way. She heard the Organ playing the wedding march, she knew its her cue, and started walking slowly. There she saw James standing next to the best men and the priest, nervous, with his dark blue tuxedo, his hair fixed properly. He looked so cute and handsome, and it made Jessie feel really awful. When James saw Jessie his eyes lit, and she could feel that he was just as disappointed as she was, that she didnt take a few steps further and stand by his side as the bride.
Jessiebell, smiling happily, took her place next to James. Suddenly Jessie felt sorry for her. Here she was, with a beautiful dress, tons of make-up and hair-spray, in a day that supposed to be her happiest day, and she is getting married to a man that doesnt love her, and marries her just for the money. Jessie couldnt imagine degrading herself to this level, that she will have to marry someone who didnt love her.
Jessie could hardly remember anything else after that. She couldn't listen to phony vows that the two exchanged , and when the priest asked if anyone has a reason why they shouldnt be wed, she almost jumped forward and yelled: I have a reason! Because I love him! BECAUSE I LOVE HIM !!!
But instead she just stood there, trying to hide the tears in her eyes, but one tear slipped down her cheek when the time had come. Up until that point there was a chance, maybe it was all just a dream, maybe something will happen... but James took a big breath, looked over at Jessie and then back at his bride, and said: "I do."
Jessie was sitting in a chair among the guests after the ceremony had ended, and felt really exhausted. She saw Jessiebell in the middle, laughing with the guests and bragging with her new husband. Jessie looked around her at all the high-society people and wondered how on earth will she get along with all of them. Sure, she wanted to be rich and have everything she wanted, but being rich wasn't the easiest thing in the world. Look at all that James has to sacrifice. His freedom, his spirit, and a chance for a true love. The things you have to do for money.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice she heard behind her back. "Hello, Jessie."
She turned around quickly and saw James standing there and smiling a sad smile at her. "You look gorgeous", He added, looking at her white dress and the new hairdo that made Jessie look really beautiful.
"Thank you", she stood up, came closer to him and instinctively straightened his tie. This made her feel like his real wife. "You look very handsome yourself."
He laughed, and then looked her deep into her eyes, "Thank you for being here with me." He said softly, giving her cheek a little caress.
She smiled at him bitterly. "Oh, well, Thats what friends are for- standing for each other when they are sick or injured or in troubles... or getting married to a woman they dont love."
He gave her a bitter, sad smile back. She was right, of course, but things have already been done, and there was no way back.
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